Relevant

There's a question nobody asked out loud during the lockdowns, and it didn't go away when the doors opened.

If you're not seen, do you still matter?

For a long time the answer had a default. You went to work, to a show, to the bar, to church, to the game, and you were relevant because you were in the room. Then the rooms closed. And the only way to be seen was to go public online, and make yourself relevant in some way, on purpose, every day, to an audience that never had to look up.

Some people did that and it worked. Some tried and it felt like shouting into a well. And some didn't try at all, and slowly stopped feeling like anyone would notice if they weren't there.

That last one is the dangerous one. It doesn't announce itself. It looks like being tired. It looks like "I'll reach out next week." Relevance, when it goes, takes self-worth with it, and self-worth is load-bearing in ways we don't see until it's gone.

Here's what I've come to think. Relevance isn't attention. It's being needed by someone specific. One person who'd notice. One project that stalls without you. One group chat that goes quiet when you do. That's enough, and it's a lot more reachable than an audience.

So if you're in the quiet version of this: the answer isn't to become a brand. It's to become necessary to someone, in a small way, this week. Fix a thing for a neighbor. Show up to the meeting. Ask someone how they are and stay for the answer. "How can I help" is a better question than "can I help," because it assumes yes.

Potential energy is still energy. It just hasn't moved yet.

And if it's heavier than that, if you're past tired and into something darker, please talk to someone tonight. In the US you can call or text 988 any time. You are more relevant than the silence is telling you.